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✨ Ever After is Now is a weekly-ish newsletter for deep feelers breaking cycles of self-sacrificial living. Together, we’ll build self-worth and confidence by getting clear on our deepest values — and consistently investing our time, energy, and love into what truly aligns.
I don’t have it all figured out. I’m a deep-feeling working mom of 3, making my ever after now, right alongside you. I share what I’m learning because when we pass along what’s helped us, we don’t just support others—we deepen our own understanding and stay accountable to keep growing ourselves.
Building up your self worth and confidence is the key to keep honoring who we are, growing our strengths and thriving. But, how do we actually do that?
We must invest and prioritize ourselves.
And that’s where, as deep feelers, so many of us get stuck. We are so often overwhelmed by others’ needs and emotions — it’s easy to believe that our own needs can wait.
That they’re less urgent. Less deserving. Less valid.
So we tell ourselves:
“Someday.”
“When the kids are older.”
“When I have more time.”
“When everything else is done.”
Whether it’s every day things like going to the gym, writing a book, or taking that dream trip — we push it down the line. We wait for some perfect, fairy tale, happily ever after day.
Whether it’s building a habit like going to the gym, working towards a childhood dream of writing a book, or simply adding a bit of romance to your day by getting those flowers or wearing those new shoes to pick up your kids - we don’t do it. We wait for some perfect, fairy tale, happily ever after day, when everyone else’s needs are already taken care of, when every to-do is checked off our lists.
But what if meeting your needs and dreams wasn’t something reserved for someday?
What if—to remind yourself of that—you invest in your own needs and dreams just as urgently as you take on that new project at work or fold all the laundry?
Because here’s the thing: denying your own needs and focusing on everyone and everything else?
It’s how cycles get passed down.
When we don’t invest in ourselves, our kids learn the same. And suddenly, they feel responsible for our happiness — just like many of us once did.
Some of us were raised by parents who loved us deeply. Others weren’t sure what love was supposed to feel like at all. But either way, many of us were taught — directly or indirectly — that love means self-abandonment.
What if we showed our kids (and ourselves) that love can also mean cherishing yourself just as highly as you cherish your kids or your best friend, now and always?
There’s a Korean saying:
Love flows downward.
The idea is that we understand our parents’ love only once we become parents ourselves.
It’s beautiful — and it’s tragic. Because by then, it’s often too late to return it — so we just pass it down.
But what if instead we believe:
Love flows inward and out.
What if investing in you lets that love flow naturally into your kids, your family, your work — your whole life?
Not someday.
Now.
Ever after is now. Let’s go.
To the deep feelers breaking cycles of self-sacrificial living—for inspiration, strategies, and support as we practice living a value-aligned life, ways to stay connected:
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